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Lenten Meditations 2009
The clergyperson visited a religious blog site. To his surprise, he found a blog about him from a person he had been once very close to. A person had written on the Fruit of the Spirit. This person who had been close to the clergyperson - not using his name, but in a context where his identity could be discerned by some - referred to him as a person who spoke of the Fruit of the Spirit with flowery words but totally failed to live the Fruit. In essence - I give only part of the blog - the message was: "He is a hypocrite."
How does he feel today about this person who posted the blog? He, through prayer and a resolve to be more like Christ, came to love the person more - to feel a Christlike, unconditional Love, for the person.
How can someone respond with such Love to such public criticism of his or her faith and character? By willing to be a certain type of person, and applying certain biblical principles. So, let us proceed.
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Now, first, there are three possibilities about such claims made against us and our faith - I will put it in first-person.
1) I am a hypocrite. My words, my confession - yes, my saying I am a Christ follower, is a sham. I am a liar, even if I do not know so. Other persons, if they were honest and seeing me for who I really am, would agree to this. I hide an ugly truth and mislead other persons in doing so: the truth - I am another professing Christian who preaches what he does not live.
2) I am not a hypocrite. I do live the Fruit of the Spirit, though, like all persons - imperfectly. I am like every other person who seeks to be Christlike - on the way, not yet arrived. My friends know me as a sincere, Christlike, and growing-in-Christ person. I can encourage other persons the more for I share their struggle to be and act consistently like Christ, and we share a need to confess and repent often - indeed, daily. I can relate well with others, for I neither consider myself worse off nor better than other persons on the Journey.
3) I live the Fruit of the Spirit perfectly. No one does this, so we can throw this option out the window.
So, either 1 or 2 must apply to me. I let those who know me decide which one. I tell my people, whom I serve, time will prove or disprove the claim of a person. And, anyway, seeking to prove your character by arguing for it will likely not convince anyone. If anything, ranting in defense will make persons wonder: "If he is not guilty, why all the fuss?"
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Now, have you ever felt the sting of having your character and faith confession called into question, or you outright spoken of as a hypocrite. Well, welcome to the Jesus Club.
Notice what Jesus says about the religiously pious who hurl insulting accusations against him, seeking to validate their estimations of him and their religious ways:
18 For John didn’t spend his time eating and drinking, and you say, ‘He’s possessed by a demon.’ 19 The Son of Man, on the other hand, feasts and drinks, and you say, ‘He’s a glutton and a drunkard, and a friend of tax collectors and other sinners!’ But wisdom is shown to be right by its results.”
*Matthew 11.18-20 (NLT)
Jesus, putting forth his character and message, opened himself to the attacks of persons who felt him a threat to their values and programs. Yet, he does not say, "Oh, how ugly they speak of me! What have I done to deserve this?" No, Jesus says, "What should we expect? This is the way they act period. Just look, they did John, my cousin, the same way. If they want to seek to discredit, it does not matter whether you enjoy wine and parties among the apparently worst of sinners in the big city, or hide in the desert and practice a life of fasting and extreme denial among the cacti." Mostly, criticism is nonrational, or irrational; appealing to reason does little good in defense.
Jesus sets forth an example. Realize that if you are ardent about your faith and following Christ, you open yourself to being criticized in just that area. Why? For one reason, persons will know that is where your heart is at, therefore, they may go for your heart.
This is an instinctual defense, a defense mechanism: "If I can prove her wrong, where she most places her value, I can prove how right I am - so, releasing how badly I feel about myself." This is basic Psychology 101: Projection or Displacement, or Both. In one, we project what we feel onto the other person. In the other, we project onto the person someone else who has mistreated us in the past or present - in the latter, we are not even seeing the person we are speaking about, we are seeing someone else not even present.
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How are you and I to respond? Paul gives us some wise advice in responding to such attack. We read this in Romans 12.14-21 (NLT):
14 Bless those who persecute you. Don’t curse them; pray that God will bless them. ... 16 Live in harmony with each other. ...
17 Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. 18 Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.
19 Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say,
“I will take revenge;
I will pay them back,”
says the Lord.
20 Instead,
“If your enemies are hungry, feed them.
If they are thirsty, give them something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap
burning coals of shame on their heads.”
21 Don’t let evil [harmfulness] conquer you, but conquer evil [harmfulness] by doing good.
Okay, let us focus on one matter, one which has intrigued me for many years. What is meant by the "heap burning coals"? The reading "of shame" is an addition, seeking to clarify the meaning.
Reading this literally, it seemed to me, once, possibly to say something Christ would never approve of: "Do good to the person who seeks your harm. You'll be making sure he gets what's coming to him, what he deserves - a hell-of-a punishment for his meanness."
Actually, the NLT gives a good attempt at interpretation. And the MSG interprets positively: "Your generosity will surprise him with goodness." And recall the nature of fire: fire is a purifier. So, there seems to be some intent at purification of the other person, a purification made possible by your refusing to seek to hurt in return and doing kindness, instead.
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Have you ever thought or spoken wrong against someone, later to feel shame when that person was kind to you? Has the goodness of a person shown you wrong in your unjust suspicions or unkind words about him or her?
Have you ever been wrongly spoken against, only to decide you would not retaliate, but allow time to demonstrate your honor? Have you ever replied with unjust criticism by praying for the blessing of the other person?
What happens to us when we do not retaliate, but respond in kindness? And this may be directly to the person or in ways unknown to him or her - in prayer, or speaking well of the person to other persons,... We are changed more into the likeness of Christ. We become more unlike the criticism levied against us.
We become more like the manner in which we respond to unjustness. If I reply to hurt with hurt, I become more a person who is hurtful. If I reply to harmfulness with graciousness, I become a more gracious person.
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During this Lent, let us purpose to do these things, both for our good and the good of those who have wronged us:
1) Pray for persons who have acted harmfully toward you. Go back over your entire life, and present each such person to God, in Love.
2) Seek to speak well in prayer and before other persons of any person who has spoken ill of you. To begin this act, choose one person and purpose before the end of the week to say something good about him or her to someone. You may do this in written form.
3) Allow unjust criticism to lead you to seek the kernel of truth that may be in the criticism. Yes, often criticism is meant to hurt us, directly or our reputation, but there still can be some truth in the criticism. For example, I can allow the criticism of me as one who does not live the Fruit of the Spirit to lead me to explore in ways I might fail to do that. We each have particular situations that we find it difficult in to be Christlike.
4) Pray for a way to express kindness directly to any person who has spoken wrongly of you. Sometimes, this is not possible - as when a person cuts off all communication with you. Still, remember to send blessing to the person in prayer - God can communicate your love and forgiveness to the person, even if he or she refuses to allow you to directly.
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I offer a closing prayer of blessing that you can pray for anyone who has unjustly treated you:
Spirit of Christ, I pray for .... I ask you to forgive her/him for what he/she has done/said. I pray that I will, in no way, hold any ill will against .... Rather, I pray for blessing upon him/her. May ... flourish and have love, joy, and peace, always. Give me your love for .... May, in some way, ... come to know of my love for her/him. I give the proof of my character to you. May my honor be only for the good of others, and may I graciously accept both the good and wrong that others may do or say regarding me. May this prayer be answered that I may be more like Christ and ... may be, also. Amen.
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*This writing ministry is the offering of Rev. Dr. Brian K. Wilcox, of SW Florida, a Pastor in the United Methodist Church, and Senior Chaplain for the Charlotte County Jail, Punta Gorda, FL. To contact Brian, write to barukhattah@embarqmail.com .
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